For this blog post of my choice, I decided to talk about how the present can remind you of the past. I mean this could come off in many ways, but right now, it’s a positive thing.
Tainted Roots
During the day of filming, we had to shoot some scenes in a local plaza. During the car ride, we listed to “You Are” by Punch Brothers. This was the song that my group and I had filmed a music video on for a previous project. Grace had asked what song we should listen to on the short car ride and I immediately suggested that song. Everyone agreed except Max. He has PTSD from that song. But we listened to it anyway😊. We all had a good laugh while listening to that song as we never want to hear it again. But it was a good reminder of what we had been through together.
My outfit
The main character, Alice, wears baggy clothes and has a sort of “grudge” style. At first I had no idea what I was going to wear, as I play Alice. The clothes in my closet scream the opposite of Alice. But then, I knew exactly what I was going to wear. During Covid years, I bought and wore everything that was trending on social media platformTikTok. Fortunately, baggy/ emo (I don’t think that is the correct term, but that’s how everyone on social media described it) was trending… and I had to own it. One BIG piece that fell under the style were Doc Martens AND I STILL HAD MINE! (They were expensive and to be honest I love them but they don’t match my current style, so I kept them) These shoes really came in clutch as I did use them for the music video project and now this portfolio project. So, I wore the Doc Martens, some jeans (I think I win the contest for “the most jeans” award) and a baggy long sleeve shirt ( which I bought during my emo/ grunge phase) I know I said these reminders were positive, but I might need to rephrase that as I NEVER want to go back to this phase again. It SCREAMS “2021” and I can’t be stuck in the past. Okay, I know you’re going to judge me when reading this but.. I do care what other people think… and that’s why I changed how I want to be viewed. While wearing these old clothes during filming, I felt comfortable (half of because they were baggy clothes.) But yeah.. to sum this part up, as you move on in life, your past (don’t always think of the bad parts of the past) will sometimes be one step behind you.
Therapy
Okay this “past” was literally like two months ago, BUT it’s still the past. So, like Alice, I was in therapy for my mental health. I did not enjoy it at all. My mother and the hospital had recommended me to start and every question the therapist would ask me, I would answer with “I don’t know”
-“What do you want to do in the future?”
-“I don’t know”
-“What is a goal you can set that you can achieve”
-“I’m not sure”
Yup.. that was me. And that’s exactly how Alice is in my group and I’s film opening. Although filming didn’t really remind me of my past at therapy as mine was through a computer screen, it did remind me of how I acted towards my therapist. I’m sorry but I just didn’t feel comfortable talking to some random person. But our past can act as a reminder of what we can do in the future or even the present. It doesn’t always have to be a negative thing to view it as (although I do that all the time.) I picked this blog post topic to talk about what was in my mind during production and how time is going forward and your past can be a reminder of moments in life, positive or not.
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